Ailments and Self Love

Healing my body through emotional healing 

 I have come to believe that all illness is caused by our emotional well being. For a while I was confused as to how this could be as I'd grown up being taught that you catch illnesses from other people, some people are just allergic to things, periods are painful, childbirth is painful and accidents happen but I have found that since reading up on the emotional cause of my ailments, it always fits with my current inner feelings. Every ailment I have, I head to Google and type in the ailment along with "Louise Hay". I have times where I think it doesn't fit but as someone who has always turned inward I eventually work out that it does.

Pregnancy 

Last year in January we became pregnant with our fifth child (my third pregnancy as two of the children are step kids) I had many of the typical pregnancy aliments. At first I believed I had them because well, I believed I would have them. I was expecting the ailments as many women share their horror stories to the point that it's now just believed that pregnancy is hard (which I now no longer believe pregnancy has to be hard) and I'm a firm believer in law of attraction and what you believe, you create. Plus I'd had ailments in my first 2 pregnancies so saw it as, "This is me and how my body reacts". However, as I Googled the ailments along with "Louise Hay" I began noticing a pattern. So much so I started to think Ms Hay had simply written pretty much the same for all illnesses and pains, I had to look through lists to realise there were other reasons for ailments that I didn't have.

All of my pregnancy pains, illnesses and negative "symptoms" pointed to fear, not trusting the process of life, fear of the future and not wanting to move forward. I had very typical symptoms such as:

• Heartburn: Fear
• Joint pains: Bottled up hurt. “Arthritis is a dis-ease that comes from a constant pattern of criticism.  First of all, criticism of the self, and then criticism of other people.  Arthritic people often attract a lot of criticism because it is their pattern to criticize.  They are cursed with “perfectionism,” the need to be perfect at all times in every situation. ”  You Can Heal Your Life. ~ Louise Hay
• Restless legs: Legs represent moving forward. Problems in the legs comes from fear of the future.
• Fatigue: Chronic fatigue and other auto-immune disorders is an inner conflict between dependence and independence.
  
  chronic fatigue and other auto-immune disorders is an inner conflict between dependence and independence. - See more at: http://arielagroup.com/blog/emotional-freedom-technique-eft/how-i-cured-chronic-fatigue-fibromyalgia#sthash.xtqkRoKv.dpuf

 It's quite easy to think "Oh it's just pregnancy". However, if we stop and pay attention to these ailments we realise a couple of things. One thing is that there are many women all over the world who have wonderful pregnancies and births. I did a HypnoBirthing course and witnessed many women who had a beautiful, pain-free birth (and I know exactly why my birth didn't turn out the same) but within our culture, pregnancy and birth have become highly feared. This goes back into history and the suppression of women, I highly recommend HypnoBirthing to better understand that pregnancy and birth can actually be wonderful experiences and to be able to have a wonderful experience yourself. It is the fear that causes the pain.

I was scared and was also trying to work through that fear with meditation and relaxation techniques. If you've ever been pregnant, you know that hormones are raging and every emotion you feel is times a thousand, so my stress and fear were massive. I was nesting, my partner was in-between jobs at times, then he was working commission which was never consistent, we were talking about moving house and not just any move, but we were contemplating moving to the country for the first time. We were also contemplating crazy stuff like moving to an empty block of land and building while living in a demountable or something small which just threw my stress sky high plus living in the main parts of suburbia is full of stressful energy. I had my heart set on a home birth and in the past had had my babies in hospitals. I was unsure of my home, my security and myself. When you're pregnant you just want to nest and settle and most of all, feel safe.

My beautiful baby boy, who I love dearly, is now 6 months old. My partner is working now and loves his job, we have settled, well almost, we just need to find a home to buy.

Gluten and Lactose Intolerance 

I've recently found out that I'm gluten intolerant and lactose intolerant. As I came off gluten, my body was healing and toxins were coming out of my body causing other short term ailments such as mild rashes, stomach pains, abdominal pains, joint pains and more. Let's take a look at these:

• Rash: Oversensitive, insecure, fearful.
• Stomach problems: Dread. Fear of the new. Inability to assimilate the new.
• Abdominal Pains: Fear. Stopping the process.
• Allergies: WHO are you allergic to? Denying your own power.
• Joint pains: Bottled up hurt. “Arthritis is a dis-ease that comes from a constant pattern of criticism.  First of all, criticism of the self, and then criticism of other people.  Arthritic people often attract a lot of criticism because it is their pattern to criticize.  They are cursed with “perfectionism,” the need to be perfect at all times in every situation. ”  You Can Heal Your Life. ~ Louise Hay
• Leg Pains: Legs represent moving forward. Problems in the legs comes from fear of the future.

I'd spoken to my friend and she had said that my symptoms point to fear of the future. I was confused thinking, "I didn't fear the future?" At first, I put it down to being too much into the now. We moved to the country we've been absolutely loving it. It's so peaceful out here! Life is at a slower pace, it's easy going and all the stresses of the city are gone. We don't have irrational stresses and fears anymore. We ask ourselves, "Why didn't we do this sooner?" We are very happy so having fear of the future didn't make sense to me.

I sat in the car on our way home trying to contemplate what my fear of the future could be. I actually appreciate having ailments because I see it as my subconscious or my higher self trying to awaken me consciously to my automatic negative thoughts and feelings towards myself and life. It clicked. Tom and I had discussed having 2 babies, one now and another within 2 years because our youngest above our baby is 7 and we wanted our baby to have a friend. I was afraid of pregnancy and birth and knew we had it planned for our future.   

 When I got home I sat to try and sort out my fears, I thought they were all little fears compiled to create all my ailments. As I thought through I eventually came to the conclusion within myself that all of the little fears stemmed from one fear and that was, the fear of not being good enough which is also not loving myself.

Bug Bites

Months ago when I was pregnant, my pets got fleas. I did everything, I  bathed the pets with flea shampoo then put flea treatment on the backs of their necks, I sprinkled flea powder through the whole house, changed sheets etc. Usually less than this worked to get rid of them but every morning I'd wake up with a fresh set of bites on my legs. I checked my bed over and over and for some reason they were only biting me and not my partner! I would think maybe they were biting me through out the day as I walked around on the carpet or perhaps they liked me more because of my rich pregnancy blood haha! My fiance started saying, maybe it's all in your head. I wouldn't have it and then I looked it up.

• Bug bites: Guilt over small things.

I couldn't figure out what this would be but it got to the point where the bites were driving me insane, I couldn't sleep because of the itch. I stood in the shower and counted 25 bites, all insanely itchy and in desperation I turned to my guides and asked what it could be. It finally clicked, I felt guilty about the kids. I home school, I unschool and with all my aliments I was finding it hard to sit down with them during the end of my pregnancy and I became riddled with guilt. As it all clicked I realised my fiance was right, it was all in my head. I dealt with my guilt, realised I was still doing more than enough for my children and I had no more new bites and the old ones were gone in no time!
 

Conclusion

These are just a few of my personal examples. I have found my ailments always fit with the emotional reasons Louise Hay or others give and when I deal with them they get better or disappear altogether. This is just my personal experience which I'm sharing in hopes to help others. I'm an advocate for looking within and taking time to love yourself.

The one thing that I always conclude to whether it be that I'm experiencing an ailment, physical pain or emotional pain from past, present or future is that it always comes down to that I'm not loving myself enough. So here's to knowing we are enough, we are amazing and we are worthy. I love me and I hope you love you! I'm grateful for the wake up call of ailments and negative emotions to remind me to practice self love.

~Belinda